When I was little I went through a phase of memorizing a book and then repeating the story like a broken record to anyone who would listen. In addition to the Frances series, I would tell the tale of Alexander and The Horrible, Terrible No Good, Very Bad Day.
Although I didn’t wake up with gum in my hair and wasn’t forced to wear any railroad train pajamas, today felt just like a Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
It began beautifully – up at 5am to get a jump start on a few client projects. I started the coffee brewing and went downstairs to check email. I couldn’t get online, and after resetting the modem no fewer than six times I went back upstairs to find coffee leaking all over the counter. Apparently I forgot to empty yesterday’s remains from the thermos. Why does every bad day include a coffee mishap? When Jason woke up I figured he’d fix the connection by pressing the reset button on the modem (just like me) and it would magically connect, which is usually how it happens because he has the Midas touch with all things digital but even he couldn’t summon the Internet gods today.
After a morning run to Comcast to replace the modem Jason was busy troubleshooting and I went downstairs to check in (by 8am I was experiencing serious withdrawal symptoms), leaving Stinkz upstairs with his pushcart and the safety gate wide open. Thirty seconds later I heard a crash and turned to see him rolling down the concrete stairs and landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom. Fortunately the fall didn’t require a trip to the ER, but included plenty of tears (his and mine), a scraped up face and a bruised little noggin. And LOTS of mom guilt.
The day continued along these lines but I’ll spare you the details as I want it all to come to an end as quickly as possible.
The upside to Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Days is that they do eventually end and make you appreciate the ones when the coffee is perfectly brewed, the sun is brightly shining and an unexpected check appears in the mail. And you feel like you’re a GREAT mom. Tomorrow holds the promise of a shiny new day full of endless possibilities. With Internet access. Otherwise I’m moving to Australia.